Proverbial Woman - The Virtuous Wife

I would like to take a moment and do something I know I do not do enough.  I would like to lovingly brag on my wife.  I’d like to do so by commenting on the first half of the virtuous wife in Proverbs 31.  I'll save the remaining verses for another time.  I'm sure there are perhaps less literal implications to the things mentioned below, but for the purpose of this I am going to address the things mentioned just as they were literally written and intended.

The Virtuous Wife...

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
¹¹ The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.

Who can?  I can.  Something that I should not take for granted, is that I don’t need to know what Shanda does on the credit card.  Honestly, I don’t want to know.  I have other things to think about regarding the in and out of finances.  It’s nice to not have to think about what Shanda is doing with the credit card (money in general).  I fully trust that when we pay the balance off each month, whatever that balance—it was necessary for our family.  We honestly do not have a budget for groceries.  Shanda and I rarely ever argue or worry about finances.  I think a huge part of that is because I know I can and do safely trust her.

Now, that isn’t to say budgets are bad, but for us they have not been necessary since we got married.  I have made a budget, but more than anything it was just to monitor what we were doing.  I don’t feel the need to “give” Shanda a budget when she shops.  She makes her own budget, and what is purchased is what is needed.  She does the grocery shopping, buys various things for our home, and various necessities for Micah all on her own—most of the shopping for necessities in general.  I don’t monitor it with worry, wondering, “What is she spending money on?”  I will soon find out as it is not hidden from me, and is plain to see.

Shanda doesn’t look for what is merely cheapest, but what is good in the long term.  Sometimes, you do get what you pay for.  Other times, you definitely do not!  Shanda is always working on this skill, to fine tune it.  I know that Shanda shops with these things in mind, thinking of the long term and little care to brand names.  From buying in bulk when reasonable, or stocking up when things are on sale.  I have no doubt that the money that is coming in is going out on things we need.  I truly do not worry.  I safely trust her, and none of the income that comes in will be void of any gain due to frivolity by her hand.  Because of her, I will have no lack of gain.

¹² She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

I see this in the way she cares for me when I am not feeling well.  She has made muscle massaging oils just for me, so that she can massage me when I am achy.  I see this in the meals she prepares and the clean house she keeps well organized.  The list goes on and on.  She'll message me throughout my day and tell he how she appreciates me—I admit far more than I return the favor.  I know that Shanda is looking to do me good, and I don't worry about her sneaking behind my back as some people in this world worry about.  Though I know Shanda, as I and all of us do sin—when all the days of my life are accounted, I know that it will be said that she did me good.  Truly as Proverbs 18:22 says, I have found a good thing.

¹³ She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.

¹⁵ She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.

She is not afraid to work with her hands.  Shanda loves to go junking, thrift shop, and Internet shop—looking for good deals to repurpose or resell.  She often finds things we do not even intend to keep, but buys with the full intent to sell.  She’ll buy low and sell high.  Not in any scheme though.  She cleans and repairs things so that they are worth more when sold.  Or, simply will find a good deal where someone is willing to let go of something cheap and resell to someone else who is willing to pay more for that item.

She reaches out to find ways to make our home prosper in many monetary ways by doing it cheaper, and making it with her own hands.  For example, she makes bar soap and laundry soap.  She has purchased clothe diapers for Micah and future children, which are much cheaper than disposables.  It may not be as easy as wrapping up a disposable and throwing it in the garbage, but it's better in all other ways.  She makes many natural remedies, ointments, and cleaning supplies by purchasing various things for recipes she finds or makes up.  Most of the food Micah has eaten has been some kind of food Shanda has made.  It's better for him, and much cheaper than premade food.  Of course there are times when you need to open a jar of baby food on the go, but that is not the norm.  Primarily though, she makes food for Micah.

She makes homemade yogurt that we all love.  She cooks and bakes all sorts of foods, and we have shelves full of canned goodies in mason jars.  She has lunch packed up and ready to go for me to take to work the next day.  In the basement there are a lot of pickles and tomatoes canned—meats, various jams and other veggies too.  She brings in goods from afar—special seeds she ordered on the Internet!—and makes it last a long time.  She works with her hands willingly so that nothing goes to waste on her watch.  There is always something new she is looking to change so that we can live as healthier and better stewards.

¹⁷ She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.

¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
¹⁹ She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.

I an not ashamed to admit that my wife mowed the lawn 90% of the time this summer because I worked long hours while away while she worked in home as a mom.  She even learned to run the weed-whacker this year!  She plants and maintains a garden.  She has a stash of her own heirloom seeds harvested from this years garden to plant next year.  She will help me split wood and haul wood for our wood burning stove.  There are many other things, but suffice it to say that she is not afraid to do things that require strength of arms often considered “man’s work”.

Again, she does not let anything go to waste.  She mends and sews when things fall apart, and she’s constantly maintaining things around the house as she keeps it very clean.   Her motor never stops running, and even seems to run harder when I’m not around so that we can have a chance to relax when we are together.

Of course, she takes care of Micah every day and as previously mentioned, keeps the home very well organized.  I know that she seeks to make home a peaceful place for us, and works hard with her hands so that in many ways that will be more possible.

---

All of this said, and I'm quite sure there are things I have not mentioned and fail to remember.  I hope it does not come off as prideful in the worst sense of the word.  And, I hope nobody is intimidated by how awesome my wife is! If you ever have a question about any of the many awesome things I said about her, I'm sure she would be willing to share what she knows with you, by the grace of God!  I speak on the things that work for us personally as God has blessed us uniquely—though they may not be best for everyone, they have been for us—and I speak on what I personally admire about my wife as Proberbs 31 applies to her in our life together.  Truly, truly, when I think of the Proverbial woman I do think of my wife, Shanda.  I love you!

Joy, and walking without burden.

John 21:18-19

¹⁸ “I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don’t want to go.” ¹⁹ Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, “Follow me.”

This verse doesn't seem to be a source of much joy for a follower of Jesus.  He says "Follow me" after telling Peter God will take him to a place he doesn't want to go.  This is interesting for many reasons.  This is one of those things Jesus says and is reverse of how we think.  We think it is when we are old that we will dress ourselves and go where we want to go.  Of course, speaking merely of the flesh that is true in many ways.  God tells us, however, that there will come a time for Peter--and for us--that he'll be taken to a place he did not desire to go.  Perhaps as Jesus prayed, you will say, "If at all possible, let this cup pass from me...".

There is actually a lot to be said about this passage in John 21, but I want to stick to simply the idea that we may go places we don't want to go, because God takes us there.  We are told what Jesus meant by this--He was speaking of the death Peter would die.  Peter would die a martyr.  I believe it would be a mistake to think this is a permanent state of living, rather than an acception.  If we think this being taken places we don't want to go is a permanent state of living then we will be robbed of joy unnecessarily.  There are many who think like this, myself at times as well, but I don't believe we ought to.

Consider the moment Jesus was speaking of where Peter would not want to go--Peter's painful death.  It was a one time thing.  It was not a life long, daily thing.  If you want to look into how he died, it was very painful and not to be excited about.  That said, sometimes we can be a bit masochistic in our thinking.  We can think being in pain is good, and that's what God enjoys is seeing us in pain.  As if our pain pleases God or something, and that just isn't right.

We can think if it's not hard, painful, or difficult... we must not be doing what God wants or we must be in sin somehow.  We think the things God wants us to do are always hard, and burdensome.  Though I do believe there are acceptions, I do not believe this to be the rule.  I believe the rule of living is much better than the acception spoken of in John 21:18-19.  The "rule of living" is actually better displayed in psalm 23, among many other places.  Or 1 John 5:3 that says "Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome."

Is there some place you are supposed to go, that maybe you don't want to go, where God is taking you?  That is very possible.  But, it's an acception to the rule.  I believe God'd heart is to walk with us in green pastures, and to give us commands that are not burdensome because keeping is how we love Him.  Let's not live like God wants us to live in pain.  Again Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Does there come a time in our lives where following God means doing hard things that are painful, and even things we don't want to do?  Yes, but God will carry us into those times.  We shouldn't live there, however, as this is the acception.  To live in this state or mindset that God wants us to be in pain, and if we're not then we're not following God would be robbing ourselves of the joy He really wants us to have as we walk with Him without burden.  Do we want Joy?  Don't be masochistic.  Don't think Jesus's burden is heavy, and don't think that His commandments are burdensome.  If this is the way you are thinking, change how you view God (repent).  If we aren't experiencing joy then I believe we need to learn what it means to truly believe His burden is light, and that His commandments are not burdensome.  When we understand this, truly, then we will have joy.

Can appointed salvation by God, be missed?

Once and awhile you read over something you have read before, and you see something new.  That was the case with 1st Thessalonians today.  Many of my fellow Christian friends know that I am a strong proponent of "eternal security".  I go so far as to say that eternal security in Christ is an essential part of the Gospel.  I accept the Gospel as a whole and without this part, we'd really be missing it.

 

 

1 Thessalonians 5:9 

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Think about this verse and consider its meaning with its implications for us.  Consider what we should all believe: God is all knowing and all powerful. He knows all things and sees all things--from the beginning to the end. We have been appointed.  Not only are we appointed to salvation we are not appointed to suffer wrath.  Is God not faithful?  Yes He is.  Is He not punctual?  Yes He is.  We can all agree He is both those things.  God does not forget what He has appointed.  He sees all things.  He sees your end, even when He appointed you.

When you were appointed, God was not blind to how your life would unfold or how your life would someday expire.  He is not oblivious to your sins--past, present, or future.  He didn't forget to look ahead and realize, "Oh, Peter would sin in the future.  Peter would even deny me in the future.  Oops!".  God knows.  Peter denied Jesus three times, even when he was forewarned by Jesus that he would do so.  And, did you ever wonder what would have happened to Peter (eternally) if he had died at the very moment he denied Jesus?  I suggest Peter would have met the same fate that he eventually met after living to see another day where he did not deny Jesus--he went to heaven to be with Jesus who saves us from our sins, and appoints us to salvation.

When I was appointed, God knew me from the beginning to the end.  He knows all of us, from the beginning to the end.  He appointed me not to wrath.  If you have been saved, you have been appointed the same. If He has appointed us, not to wrath--and yet we find wrath--what does that mean?  It would mean God lied, forgot, or somehow failed. It's simple. If God has appointed us to salvation, and not to wrath, that's it.  He knows all things, He sees all things, and that is what He has appointed.  Not you, not me, but God.  Who are we to argue with Him?

According to God's Word, we see and know our salvation is appointed.  This loss of salvation some talk about is not possible.  Of course in their argument they always explain how our salvation is somehow lost by works, which do not save in the first place.  Rest assured that if you've been saved, you will meet that appointment because it is not you who made the appointment.  God made the appointment!  Eternal security in Jesus is an essential part of the Gospel, and without it... you don't have the whole thing.

Being Spiritually Fit

As I struggle to try and be in better shape I had this epiphany. You'll notice when we try to get in shape, we watch primarily two different things: What we eat, and what we do.  Diet, and exercise.  The food you consume and the activity you exert work together on what you physically become.  There are some genetic factors we have little say over, but we'll overlook this for now.

Something else I notice is how it's the getting in a routine that is a huge milestone.  When trying to get out of your slump and into a routine, I have found personally that if I cheat on one or the other I will cheat on both.  If I am watching what I eat and trying to be physically active, failing to do one or the other will demotivate me to do the other.    If I exercise it motivates me to eat better so that I will reap a better reward.  If I eat well it motivates me to exercise and reap a better reward.  Likewise, if I break my diet by eating things I should not during the day, I feel it's all a waste and I may as well just sit among the sloths.

What do you need to do so that you will be spiritually fit?  The simple point is this.  Apply these two things the spiritual.  Watch what you consume, and watch what you do.  The degree to which we are willing to eat the right spiritual food (not eat bad food) and actively do the work of God, is the degree to which we will be spiritually fit.  Spiritual food is both the things you do eat, and the things you do.  Spiritual activity is doing the things that His Word tells us we should.  Do one, and you will often be motivated do the other better.  Read His Word, do His Work.  Now that I've convicted myself, I better watch what I eat and do.


1 Timothy 4:8
For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

James 1:22-24
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.

Should the Church be relevant?

I’ve been pondering “being relevant” recently.  I hardly believe I am saying this, but… The Church should be relevant!  At least when it comes to evangelism...

How so?  Try not to get ahead of me here, because I am not saying let the world change you and let the world determine who you will be.  I'm certainly not saying change God's Word.  Being relevant is nothing if it isn’t fruitless, apart from living a life worth of the Gospel at all times (Philippians 1:27).  Though I have been skeptical at times of being "relevant”, I think my fears stem from the idea of being a thermometer that adjusts to the temperature in this world instead of a thermostat that sets the temperature.  Thermometer relevance is not the kind of relevance we need, I can assure you.

God through Paul’s letters, seems to be talking about being relevant as a means to deliver the Gospel to all people.  People who are saved, are saved when they hear the Word of God (Romans 10:17-18).  Being relevant is just a means to gain access into the lives of others, so that the Word of God can be delivered.  If we can become "all things" so that we can go into them or bring them to us, then we can present the Word of God and let it do His Work.  Of course, we are not talking about sinning in order to be relevant.  We are talking about doing things that are not sinful, in order to be relevant.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23
For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ, that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.

Romans 10:17-18
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

But I say, have they not heard? Yes indeed:

“Their sound has gone out to all the earth,
And their words to the ends of the world.”

As is always the case, we need to be mindful there is danger in this spiritual endeavor of being relevant—that we would become distracted—and instead of truly becoming new things for the sake of presenting the Gospel, we simply blend and assimilate into the world as one of them.  For example, some will say, “Great, I can be relevant!  Let’s go drink, party, have fun, try new things and do new things!  Let’s do what the world is doing cause it looks like a lot of fun!”.  If we do this, what really is our motive?  We deceive ourselves if we think we serve God here.

Remember what Paul wrote, "Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.".  Some people use the excuse of being a witness in order to sin, which is really no witness at all.  "I hang out with sinners, just like Jesus did."  This can be used as a cop-out to really undermine the Gospel, and make relationships with people we really shouldn't have--ones where they are leading us away from Christ, rather than us leading them too Christ. This is the kind of relevance we do not need.  Instead of being a thermometer and letting the world set the pace, we need to be a thermostat while becoming all things for the sake of the Gospel.  Why do you choose to experience new things?  Is it for the sake of your flesh, or for the sake of the Gospel?

That being said, it seems we are in fact being told that being relevant in the right way is a good thing.  The right way being, becoming all things for the sake of representing and delivering the Gospel.  If this is you, relevance is in fact a very good thing.  Do you have a heart for the lost?  Be relevant!  Learn new things, do new things, meet new people, go new places and become what you otherwise would not inside of your own comfort zone for the sake of presenting the Gospel to those who are different than you, and without.

It’s okay to be relevant.  For many, the idea that it's okay to be relevant can be quite liberating.  I hope that it's liberating to you, for the right reasons.

Is once a week "church" enough?

I feel like there is a lack of true fellowship missing from much of today's Church.  Not everyone, not everywhere... but with a lot.  Fellowship that I see in the Bible.  It's certainly not the humdrum of "going to church" once or twice a week for a couple 1-3 hours max.  In Acts, specifically, they were constantly meeting house to house. It wasn't a once a week thing, and it wasn't at a centrally located building.  Then again, there were also those who sold their houses entirely (Acts 4:34) for the good of others, to be shared.  Be that as it may, it's clear that they met frequently house to house among people or the church corporately who owned them.

Examples:

Acts 2 -- The Day of Pentecost. They were gathered in a house, as directed by Jesus to wait.

Acts 5:42 -- We are told a number of the apostles visited Jewish Synagogues, as well as house to house to teach about Jesus.

Acts 8 -- Saul gathered up the church, going house to house to get them (he didn't go to a "church", where they could all easily be found as might be done today.  I wonder if there is wisdom in that...).

Now, I'm not suggesting it's a sin to have a central building where we all meet at a set time.  But at the same time, it doesn't seem that we see these early Christians found at one unless they were witnessing/preaching the Gospel to others who normally gathered there.  Fellowship, time and time again, occurred in houses.  I'm merely presenting what I find when I read.

So many of us are busy with our own lives; so I wonder how deeply our fellowship really goes with today's mega-churches, and the like (this begs the question, at what point *really* does one become a mega-church)?  What if gathering at "the church"--as we are the church, in the House of God--was really done with a purpose, other than fellowhship?  Or, at least, it wasn't to primary place where we go to attain that fellowship or spiritual food for the week.  What if the church (that's us) through true fellowship, throughout the week--house to house--was learning and growing all over the city, state, country, and world in this way?

Many people still only meet house to house out of necessity I suppose, in some place of the world... but it is uncommon. Now, if we are going to have a central building (that place w/ the cross and the parking lot), Jesus said that His House should be called a House of Prayer (Matt 21:13; Mark 11:17; Luke 19:46).  He condemned the selling of merchandise at the tables and obstructed people with merchandise from walking through the temple courts (see Mark's version).

If we are going to have a House of God, then why do we spend so much money on making it comfortable?  Is it there to give us a palatable feel to delight our physical pleasures?  I feel much of it often is.  And, in James 4:3 we're told "Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts."  Our "churches" are air conditioned, soft seated, well lit, with various amenities to keep us in pleased so that we can easily make it through the 1-1.5 hour "service", once a week.  While I'm not necessarily against these things, I just wonder what if they weren't there?  Would we still gather?

So much time and money is spent on making ourselves comfortable when we come together corporately.  Then again, the same pleasures are found in our own homes.  If the AC wasn't there, along w/ soft seats and nice bathrooms, would our fellowship quickly die out?  Would people stop coming?  I'd be interested to know.  And, if it did die out because these things are gone, was it really fellowship?  Perhaps it would be a good test, and a chance to grow.  What if we shared more of what we had--our lives being totally open to what God would put in and take away, regardless of the comfort it may bring or deny us?  What if what was mine is yours, and yours is mine?  What would that fellowship be like?  Would it be profoundly foolish or wise?

What part of early American ACTS, are those of a Christian heart, and Godly-Biblical foundation?

Was it when they first rebelled from England contrary to Romans 13:1-7?

Perhaps was it when these American participated in the despicable slave trade practices of kidnapping people from native tribes in Africa, forcing those natives to be slaves for no other reason than their own American bellies?  There was the opportunity--which was passed up--to liberate many of these slaves being sold by their own neighboring tribes.

Maybe it is the fact the name of Jesus--which is the Name that separates Christianity from all other beliefs/religions in this world--is found nowhere in any official document establishing this nation's rules/laws on Him?

Of all these things, which do you think most effectively shows that America is founded on the Christian Bible or Godly principal?  Or maybe--just maybe--if you believe that some early people making reference to "God", "All Mighty Creator", and purporting some of God's 10 commandments (when it suited them), makes this country based on Christianity... maybe there has been a misunderstanding?  Just maybe.