Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
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There are many times in my job where I have been called upon to train a new employee--not to discipline, but to train. It's a specific task, separate from discipline. The majority of any discipline that this trainee receives, will actually be at the hand of someone else after I have trained him or her. Suffice it to say, there is a difference between training and discipline. As parents, however, we have been called to be both trainer, and disciplinarian of our children. Though I am a young parent, and by no means an "expert", I think all of us parents should consider. Here are my considerations, and may God help us in doing it.
At a young age, the only thing that children can understand, is discipline. For a time, when they are very little, discipline is all we have to rely on. Certain actions invoke negative reactions. As they come into understanding, however, we should seek to avoid the pitfall of thinking that in administering discipline, we are actually training them. That is certainly not the case. When I train someone, I show them how they ought to work or behave. I don't just tell them to have at it, and discipline them when they are wrong. How infuriating it can be, when we are disciplined for doing something wrong, which we have never been properly trained to do in the first place! I believe this is a method of "discipline" many of us can fall into, if we are not careful. And, I believe that would be provoking our children to wrath (Eph 6:4)--something we seek to avoid doing.
Training takes a lot of work, and so does diligence in disciplining. It's by God's merciful design that children grow up so slowly (compared to the animal kingdom). If I am going to train a child, I am going to have to kill hypocrisy in me wherever it is found. In the little time that I have been a father, I am seeing just how much training I give Micah while I am unaware. Better to be aware of that training that I give him! Whenever you are in the site of your children, you are training.
Don't train without discipline and don't discipline without training. Let's also not be fooled into thinking that they are the same thing, or that either can be done properly apart from one another. All parents should consider the words of 1 John 3:18, before we ever discipline. May it cause us to ask ourselves first, "have I given proper training"?
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
